Chapter 7

Things had seemed to return to normal, for the most part. Though Isabella’s family was coping as much as they were able, Isabella was proud to admit that the death had spurred not only grief but also change. Her mother had quit one job in order to be around more often, and with Isabella’s father gone, a little bit of their financial strain had been relieved because their father often took money to buy drugs. George had opted to begin working as well, though their mother protested that it would disrupt his schooling.
“We’re not gonna be able to afford a big house anytime soon, but I think we’re all trying harder now.” Isabella said to the Society one day. “Rosie and I have been helping as much as we can cleaning up the place, going through my dads shit. I’m not afraid to admit I wish things had gone differently, but in a way it ended up a wake up call for all of us.”
Lana smiled. “That’s good, Isabella. It’ll take time still, but I’m glad your family is doing well. I’m glad you’re doing well.”
“Yeah, that was quite a stunt you guys pulled. I swear if you tell anyone I cried I’m going to kill you all in your sleep though.”
Aden nodded, ignoring Isabella and eyeing his checker pieces while Jeremy made his move. “Not that I’m a gossip queen, but a little birdie also known as Isabella told me Neil’s been going out of his way to impress you, Lana.”
Rolling her eyes, Lana retorted “If by impress you mean mortify. I wish the guy would get off my back, he’s not going to win whatever bet he’s got going or fulfill any sick ambition.”
“What’d he do?” Jeremy asked, as Aden made his move.
“Somehow, he got into my locker and had a bunch of flowers in there. Also left a note once again asking me out. Half of it was in internet slang, and all it talked about was how sexy I was. Whatever happened to someone liking you for your personality?”
“Did that ever exist?” Isabella said sarcastically.
“Maybe not.” Lana said, sighing. “Screw men, they’re such self absorbed, competitive, testosterone driven assholes. No offence.”
“Whatever.” Aden and Jeremy said at the same time, still quite absorbed in their checker match.
“Tia are you okay?” Isabella asked, and Lana looked over to see that her face was very pale.
“I’ll be back.” Tia said quickly and ran out of the room.
Isabella frowned. “Sick again? This is the second time tonight and she’s been sick most every morning.”
Aden looked up from the game. “Where’d she go?”
“Probably to the bathroom to throw up again. Has she told you anything?”
Aden shook his head. “About being sick? Why would she have anything to tell me about it?”
“Maybe someone’s poisoning her.” Isabella said. “That can explain sickness.”
Aden laughed. “Her family doesn’t seem like the poisoning type. Maybe she’s just sick, I’ve gotten bad stomach flu’s before.”
Lana frowned. “Still, a week? She hasn’t looked well for awhile now.”
“Maybe she’s pregnant.” Jeremy said. Everyone looked at him with shock.
“Jay, Tia would be the last girl on earth to be pregnant. She’s Mormon, and we‘re fifteen.” Isabella said.
Jeremy shrugged. “I’m just saying, whatever her problem is, it’s bad right? Being pregnant would be really bad, and it would make her sick for more than a few days. Morning sickness can happen at any time of day.”
Aden shook his head, still shocked at Jeremy’s suggestion but quickly dismissed it. “Nah, whatever is bothering her has been bothering her for a long time, longer than this year. You didn’t know her in elementary school, she used to be a lot different until fifth grade. So what are you going to do about prince charming, Lana?”
Lana frowned, still thinking about what Jeremy had said. “I’m just going to keep ignoring him until he leaves me alone. Eventually he’ll give up.”
“Are you going to winter formal with anyone at all?” Jeremy asked, looking over as Tia came back in the room.
“No,” Lana said. “Maybe with a friend or something, but not with a boyfriend or whatever.”
“What about you Isabella?” Jeremy inquired.
Isabella snorted. “Like anyone would go with me. I don’t even know if I’ll go.”
“Why don’t we all go together?” Aden said, rolling his eyes. “It doesn’t have to be such a big freakin’ deal.”
“Yeah, because Prom queen over there really wants to be seen in public with us.”
“Why not?” Lana said, frowning. “I don’t care anymore, Isabella, they already know that we hang out after the whole lunchroom thing. Do you know how much I’ve been called out on it? I don’t ask for them to accept me as part of their group, I’ll do what I want and if they kick me out then I know who my real friends are.”
“I’m not allowed to go.” Tia said, her face still rather pale.
“Why?” Lana asked
Tia shrugged. “It’s my mom, she thinks that modern dances are too sexual with how everyone dances. She says she’ll let me go to prom when I’m a junior and senior, but any other dance I have to miss.”
“That’s too bad.” Isabella said. “Though not that your mom’s too far off, my brother says high school dances are just an excuse for everyone to dry-hump each other.”
“They don’t have to be.” Lana said, rolling her eyes. “I’d rather have fun.”
Aden nodded. “Alright then, Isabella and Jeremy you are now a date and me and Lana. Let’s shake things up a bit, eh?”
“Your turn” Jeremy said, shortly.

* * * * *

Lana walked down the hall to go to the bathroom during History. The girl’s bathroom was an absurdly long way from her classroom, but Lana was in no hurry. She began spacing out and thinking things she did not want to think about. She wondered how she would be viewed after going to the dance with Aden, Isabella and Jeremy. No doubt Cadence would have made plans, and Lana would have to tell her that she had also made plans. How would Cadence take it?
Something that Lana had been struggling with was deciding whether or not the people she believed to be her friends really were her friends. Cadence was adorable and sweet, which was why Lana had taken to her. Yet she lacked the spirit that the people of the society possessed. She liked being challenged; she liked the combination of personalities in the group. The people she normally considered her friends were very generic, and often only said and did things they felt people wanted to hear and see. So what would she hear when she was seen publicly with three people of completely different cliques and lifestyles?
Still, the prospect excited her as much as it frightened her. She had grown to love her new friends more than she wanted to admit. The group still pretended to meet only out of convenience, but Lana had long begun to feel differently. She liked spending time with them more than she’d liked spending time with anyone before. Somehow, even in the short two months the groups had been together, she felt as if she had a family.
“Ouch!” She screamed suddenly as something grabbed her from behind. She had been so lost in her thoughts she hadn’t noticed someone come up behind her. The person put their hand over her mouth to prevent any other screams and grabbed both her hands, pinning them behind her back.
It all happened so quickly, Lana would later have a hard time recalling the details. After she was trapped, she was shoved into a closet, and the closet door was shut. Her offender quickly turned her around, and Lana realized several things at once. Firstly, her hands were now tied behind her back, though she wasn‘t sure how it had happened. Secondly, her offender clearly meant harm. Thirdly, from what she could see from the little light in the closet, her offender was none other than Neil.
“No one refuses me.” He said in a low voice that send shivers down her spine, and he took his hand away from her mouth to harshly kiss her lips.
Lana felt tears stain her cheek and run into the blood on her lips from Neil’s force. She could do no more than whimper as she felt his hands wander up and down her body, greedily forcing his hands in forbidden places. The more Lana struggled, the harder Neil pushed, and soon his hands wandered to the zipper of her jeans. Breathing hard, Lana couldn’t help but cry a little harder and she wished with all her might that something would happen; something that would stop what she knew was about to happen.
As if in answer to a prayer, she saw a gleam of light through her tears, which she knew was the door opening. Neil pulled away quickly, and Lana was able to fully see the blurry figure of Tia standing at the doorway.
“Get away from her.” Tia said in the fiercest voice Lana had ever heard come from a person, nonetheless a person like Tia.
Neil managed to pull up his trousers and run away very quickly, at which point Lana fell into Tia’s arms and let the river of her trauma flow through tears.

* * * * *

“Holy shit.” Aden said, holding Lana as she cried some more. Tia had instantly brought Lana outside behind the dumpster where Aden often skipped class. “That…scum, that…miserable piece of crap! Lana, you have to tell someone. You have to go to the school about it.”
Lana was in no shape to answer, but Tia spoke up. “I don’t know that that will do much, Aden. I hate to agree with what Isabella said before, but if she tells someone, are they going to believe her?”
“Tia,” Aden said angrily. “You are a witness. There’s no way he can deny it, and if he tries the school would be idiotic not to believe you two. There’s no reason why they would doubt you.”
“Even if I am a witness, what difference does it make? They’re just going to think that I walked in on them and that she’s just doing this to save her reputation-”
“Tia!” Aden said harshly, holding up Lana’s already badly bruised arm. “This is not about any fucking reputation, okay? She almost got raped. You saved her, Tia. Do you understand that? If you hadn’t opened that door…”
Tears began to form in Tia’s eyes, but she did everything in her power to keep from crying. Why hadn’t anyone saved her?
“Okay, I’m a witness.” She whispered.

* * * * *

It took Lana quite a long time to be ready to talk to anyone about it. The Society held an emergency meeting at Jeremy’s house that night and quietly helped clean Lana’s cuts and put wraps around the worst of the bruises. Lana’s lips were crusted in blood, and during the struggle she’d gained a bump on her forehead. Her wrists had clean cuts from the rope Neil had tied around them, and a few clear bruises of handprints were visible on her arms.
“This wouldn’t look so bad if I didn’t bruise so easily.” Lana said, trying to put a little humor into the situation. “It looks like someone tried to kill me.”
Isabella shook her head. “He may as well have tried to kill you. What a fucking shitbag, he must have had this planned for weeks with the rope and everything.”
“It just happened so fast.” Lana said softly. “If I’d just been paying attention I wouldn’t have been trapped so easily.”
“Don’t do that, Lana, you are not blaming yourself for this.” Jeremy said forcefully, looking at the cuts on her wrist. “Never blame yourself, you shouldn’t have had to be paying attention because nothing like this should happen.”
“What am I going to tell my mother?” Lana began to show tears again. “I can’t go home looking like this.”
“We can sneak you in,” Aden said “We’ll say you got sick and distract her. That way you can miss school tomorrow too.”
“You may need stitches for this.” Jeremy said, pointing to a gash on her shoulder that he helped clean. “It looks really deep, you probably cut it on something in the closet.”
Isabella raised an eyebrow. “Since when are you a doctor?”
“I really like medical stuff.” Jeremy shrugged. “I think I might want to be a doctor.”
“What’s up with you, Tia?” Aden said, and the attention turned to the pale-faced hero.
Tia looked nervous. “Nothing. What would be wrong with me?”
“For someone who just saved someone else you’re really quiet and you’re acting like it was your fault. Loosen up Tia, it’s over now and that asshole should go to jail as far as I’m concerned.” Isabella said, wrapping a bandage around Lana’s wrist.
“I…I have to go.” Tia said. “My mom isn’t going to like that I went out today. I’m sorry.”
Jeremy watched as she rushed out of the room. “What’s with her?”
Lana shook her head. “She’s been acting strange since she found me.”
“If I didn’t know better I’d think she believes you actually meant to get raped.” Aden said, angrily.
“I don’t think so,” Lana said. “You should have heard her when she opened that door. She told him to get away from me, and the tone in her voice sounded like she was ready to rip him to pieces. I’ve never heard anything that intense come out of her mouth. She knew exactly what was happening.”
Jeremy frowned. “There’s a reason she’s acting so funny.”
“You know,” Isabella said slowly. “When I went over to her house for dinner, there was something really strange going on between her and her uncle.”
Aden looked at Isabella. “Her uncle lives with her?”
“Didn’t you know that?” Lana said, surprised. “With you guys being so close I’d thought you would have known. He moved in with their family in the fifth grade.”
“She’s never talked about him.” Aden said, now staring off into space. “She’s talked about her parents and her sister, but I didn’t know she lived with an uncle. Why did he move in?”
Lana shrugged. “I’m not really sure. I know he’s never been married, and I think I remember Tia mentioning something about him having problems finding a job in Utah. I met him once when he first moved in, he seems like a strange person.”
“Tia had bruises on her face.” Aden said. “One day, I saw bruises on her face and she was so upset, she was skipping class. She couldn’t stop crying, but she wouldn’t tell me anything except it was different than my mom’s situation.”
Isabella had stopped bandaging Lana, who was nearly cleaned up. “Are you saying that you think Tia’s problems have to do with her uncle?”
“It’s just so confusing.” Aden said. “You say there’s something weird between those two. I see bruises on her face. She’s getting sick a lot. Now she’s acting really strange about what happened to Lana. What does it all mean?”
“It means that girl is one huge mystery.” Jeremy said, looking grim. “We can’t assume anything either, assuming is dangerous. Before we accuse her uncle of anything we need to be sure that he’s what’s causing Tia’s problems.”
“I guess.” Aden said, and watched as Jeremy finished up bandaging Lana’s shoulder and Isabella started to cover up her facial bruises with cover-up. “So how do we do that?”
Everyone was silent as they thought, but soon Isabella shook her head. “There’s no way around it, we can’t do a damn thing until she tells us something. Anything. Doesn’t even have to be everything but she isn’t giving us anything to go off of.”
“Besides acting really weird.” Jeremy said.
Aden sighed. “Bella’s right, I don’t know what to do. Every time I try to get her to tell me anything she just says she can’t. What am I supposed to say to that? I can’t make her tell me anything.”
Lana raised an eyebrow. “Aden, it’s not like this is only up to you. We’re here for her too, we’re just as frustrated as you are.”
Aden looked surprised. “Yeah, I know.”
“Come on, Lana, he wants to be her guardian angel.” Jeremy said, smiling. “Let Billy here be a hero.”
Aden looked at Jeremy with an odd combination of confusion and anger. “I don’t even know what to say to that. It doesn’t deserve acknowledgement.”
“Well, Tia does.” Isabella said, rolling her eyes. “My guess is her acting weird to this whole thing has something to do with her situation, so give her a break, yeah? Let’s not make her feel bad.”
The group nodded, but Aden couldn’t help but continue to feel frustrated at Tia. There was no reason in his mind why she should be acting so insensitive towards Lana, and he knew that she was better than that. Sighing to himself, he got up to help Isabella and Jeremy clean up.

* * * * *

With much convincing, Lana and Tia made an appointment with the principle to tell him about what had happened. The seriousness of the situation was immediately apparent. With Tia as a witness, the school was forced to involve the authorities, and an investigation went underway. To Lana’s horror, her parents were notified and Lana’s relationship with her mother became even more strained than it had been before. Neil was expelled from the school, but this action only began gossip that spread like wildfire throughout the school.
Lana’s clique was more supportive than she expected them to be, with Neil’s friends admitting that he had talked about raping Lana. Those friends offered to testify in Lana’s defense; a few of them even apologized to her for not taking Neil’s talk more seriously. They told her they never thought he would actually carry out his plans, and had assumed that it was just locker-room talk. What was more, Lana was not the only girl Neil had talked about raping, and he had even bragged about “taking down” another girl just a few weeks earlier. That girl, a timid Junior, was immediately questioned with disturbing results.
The rest of the school was not quite as forgiving. Being part of a popular yet unpopular and consistently unforgiving clique led the other members of the school to attribute Lana’s experience as asked for and purposeful. One day, as Jeremy walked through the halls he could hear the murmurs of disapproval from his fellow classmates.
“She’s so lying about it.” He heard a girl say to her friend. “She was just embarrassed that she got caught. I heard Tia Bennett was the one who walked in on them. She probably made Tia tell the school it was rape, she’s so shy she would be easily manipulated by a girl as popular as Lana.”
“Even if he was trying to rape her,” The friend put in “She should have expected it. You can’t be in that group without having sex, they’re all such whores.”
Later in the week while Jeremy and Lana took a walk after school, Lana simply shrugged it off. “I know what they’re saying, I’ve heard them too. I don’t blame them, I know my group has been mean to them. If I were them I’d be saying the same things.”
“Just don’t let it get to you.” Jeremy said. “I…I didn’t believe Isabella before when she was talking about why she didn’t tell anyone. I guess I just never thought that people would assume that it was the victim’s fault.”
“It’s not their fault, it’s just how we think. Everyone does it, everyone blames the victim if there’s a reason to doubt them.” Lana said.
“I don’t understand why you’re not pressing charges.” Jeremy said, looking cautiously over at her. “You know it’s just going to make them talk more.”
“Prue is pressing charges.” Lana reminded him, referring to Neil’s other victim. “I’ll probably be called in as some sort of witness, but I won’t be tied up in court cases for years to come. I’d rather just forget about the whole thing.”
Jeremy shook his head. “She didn’t want to, either. I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t want justice.”
“Bella is right more often than we give her credit for.” Lana said, smiling ironically. “It’s not really going to change anything whether I get justice or not. It happened, he’s not sorry for it, and no one can change things.”
Jeremy only frowned. “I guess.”
“I just hope it doesn’t happen to anyone else.” Lana said, staring off into the distance as the two made their way towards their houses. “No one should ever have to experience that. I will never be able to get that out of my head, it will haunt me for the rest of my life.”
Jeremy looked at Lana, and carefully put his arm around her shoulders to give her a side hug. There was nothing he could say.

* * * * *

Silence had become a new custom in Lana’s home. What had usually been her mother talking all night and Lana listening had turned into pure silence. Since what had happened, Lana’s mother had just stopped talking. In a way, Lana was relieved. When her mother wasn’t talking, she wasn’t criticizing, which was something that Lana was not sure she could handle. Yet soon the silence was uncomfortable, and one night at dinner Lana decided to break the silence.
“Mom I don’t know why you’re mad at me, but you’re making it pretty obvious.”
Her mother looked up from her carefully prepared meal. “Lana darling, I’m not mad at you.”
“Yeah you are. You haven’t talked to me at all the whole week.” Lana said, frowning.
Her mother looked at her for a moment, but simply shook her head. “I’m not angry, Lana, don’t be so silly. No wonder your grades are slipping, worrying about silly things.”
“Mom,” Lana said, forcefully. “Why do you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Criticize me like that. My grades are fine, if you hadn’t noticed, I had a four point grade average throughout middle school and I haven’t gotten grades for this semester yet but I’m sure I’m doing fine. I’m barely one-hundred pounds and you call me fat, and you rarely go a night without pointing out which feature about me you like least that particular day.”
Her mother frowned. “I don’t do that.”
“Mom!” Lana said, standing from her seat. “Yes you do! Or can’t you remember because you’re usually high on prescription drugs?”
“Alana Kelly Wei, don’t you talk to me like that.” Her mother said, clearly shocked.
“Why, Mom?” Lana felt tears in her eyes, but she didn’t care. The frustration and pain that she’d felt from her mother was coming out all in one disgustingly large ball of emotion. “You know it’s true just like Dad knows it’s true, and your doctors, but God knows they don’t give a shit. I give a shit, Mom, I give a shit about you. I care that you almost kill yourself, and I care that sometimes you want to kill yourself. But you don’t care, do you? Just another excuse to get the attention off of you, your daughter nearly getting raped and believing it was her fault.”
Lana was taken aback when she saw tears form in her mother’s eyes. She knew she’d gone below the belt.
“Lana, I would never think that was your fault. I don’t know why you would think that.”
“You haven’t been talking.” Lana said in a softer voice. “When you found out you never said anything. You didn’t say anything. What am I supposed to think?”
Her mother looked at her as Lana had never seen her look before. “You didn’t tell me. I had to find out from your principle that you had nearly been raped. You told your principle before you told me.”
“I didn’t want to tell, Mom. My friends found out because Tia was the one who saved me, and they told me that I needed to tell. They even made the appointment for me.”
“But if Tia hadn’t found you and your friends hadn’t known, would you have told me?” Lana paused. She knew as well as her mother that she would not have told her. “Don’t get me wrong, darling, I think you’re very brave for telling your principle, even if your friends told you to. I never told.”
Lana frowned. “What do you mean you never told?”
Her mother now had visible tears coming down her face, but she kept talking. “I was in college when it happened. I was walking back late from visiting your father’s dorm room. Stupid enough to think that I didn’t need him to walk me back, though he did insist. And then…”
Her mother was not able to finish. She simply trailed off, still looking at Lana.
“I never told anyone.” She continued suddenly. “It took me years to be able to tell anyone, and your father still doesn’t know.”
Lana then looked at her mother as she had never looked at her mother before. It was the first time she had ever opened up to her. Lana knew very well that her mother had many problems, and Lana had been sure that her mental illness had roots in her past. Yet Nancy had never opened up to her daughter, despite years of Lana taking care of her and opening up to her.
“Mommy,” She said, shaking her head. “You need help. I love you so much, but you need someone to help you, and it can’t be me anymore. You can’t keep drowning your problems out with medication, and you can’t keep taking it out on me either.”
“I never meant to make it so you felt you couldn’t talk to me.” Her mother said, tears still coming down her face. “I just wanted us to be strong and successful.”
“Sometimes it’s okay to admit weakness.” Lana said. “ Sometimes life is too much, but that’s okay. You don’t deserve to feel this way, you don’t deserve to feel so sad and you don’t deserve to feel like you need to be perfect. No one is perfect.”
Her mother nodded, beginning to really hear her daughter. “Help?”
“Help.” Lana said, nodding. “We’ll do it together, okay? I’ll go too. We could even go at the same time if you wanted, but this has to happen. I’m so sorry, Mom.”
“Lana,” Her mother said, now crying “I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt you I just love you so much and…”
But her mother couldn’t finish what she wanted to say, she was crying too hard.
“I love you too, Mom.” Lana said, walking over to hug her mother for the first time since as long as she could remember. She knew she had broken through a lot of walls to get her mother to admit she had a problem, but suddenly Lana felt more normal than she had in a long time. She would need to stay with her mother over night to make sure she was okay, but then she wouldn’t have to do it alone anymore. Lana could barely grasp at the thought that she would no longer be alone in this struggle to help her mother. Everything is going to be okay, she thought, everything…